PERITOPIA!

California to Go \’Cuss-Free?\’

Typical.  Too bad Chelsea Handler and Howard Stern aren’t here to pay this legislation the fitting tribute it deserves.

I love Amazon, and I usually have no problems getting stuff from them — even though I live in the middle of nowhere (its technical name).  That is why I was confident ordering a space heater from them on December 8.  The estimated delivery date was December 21, plenty of time.  But that time has come and gone and still no heater.  So, I tracked it and discovered that my space heater has been really busy traveling across the country!  Oh, it came pretty close to its intended destination on December 16 (when it arrived in Menlo Park, CA) — but then, for reasons only it probably knows, it decided to return to Hodgkins, IL, where it had been on December 11 (I don’t know what it did there that day, but let’s just pretend that, whatever happens in Hodgkins, IL stays in Hodgkins, IL).  Check out its itinerary so far and stay tuned to find out when/if my space heater finally comes home.

Update: the heater arrived on December 28!

Plane briefly hijacked in Mexico; Passengers freed

So, I guess these guys went to the same crime school as the perps around here.  And, why won’t they tell us why these Bolivians wanted to speak to the Mexican President — apparently, very very badly — anyway?  Is this not something that could have been resolved over a beer?  I’m guessing that’s what all the passengers had when they got off the plane and realized what happened.

UPDATE: Bolivian man acted alone in Mexico hijacking, official says Apparently, he is an alcoholic and a drug addict and “explained” that >>he hijacked the Boeing 737 jet because the date — September 9, 2009, or 9/9/9, and 666 reversed — held some significance for him, said Genaro Garcia Luna, the secretary for public safety.  ”He said that because of that divine reference he wanted to alert Mexico City of an earthquake,”<<

NOW, it makes sense.

\’Elaborate\’ drug tunnel found along Mexico border

>>”It’s elegant in the sense it has electrical work wired into the Mexico side. It even has a hose for ventilation and lightning,” Scioli said.<<

Interesting.  I did not realize you need lightning in a drug tunnel.  Must be a form of security — like an uber-taser.

So, fresh from seeing the new Star Trek movie (which was GREAT), a friend sends me THIS: Trek Passions.  Yes, that’s right, an on-line dating service for Trekkies.

Obviously, I am thrilled beyond belief.  As readers will recall, I could not become a Green Single because I was not willing to engage in Spiritual Dating.  I have a reputation to protect.  So, Trek Passions offers another, different way to find my perfect soul mate!   And, who am I kidding, of course, my perfect soul mate is going to be a Trekkie!!!  And not some wuss-Eco-Trekkie either.  I’m looking for something in a Captain Picard/Klingon.  Make it so.

Thought I was starting to run out of material — and then Earth Day came along and BAM! back in the game with this precious pearl sent by a friend: Planet Earth Singles

Seems there is an online service that matches up “green singles” (or “yoga singles,” “earth singles,” “vegan singles,” “stop bathing singles” etc. you get the picture) with their perfect soul mate.  First of all, who knew there was such a thing as a “green single” or a Conscious Dating Network???   Frankly, I’d rather join the Unconscious Dating Network, but that’s just me.  Anyhow, the service makes members fill out compatibility tests and boasts an impressive success rate, with lots of inspirational stories that involve “manifesting” — which doesn’t sound like something you want to do on a FIRST date — but, again, might just be me.  I am fairly certain there is NOTHING I would rather do right now than take the Planet Earth Singles compatibility test and find my perfect soul mate.  Unfortunately, to join, you have to practice something called Spiritual Dating, which takes me out of the running because it requires things like “being realistic” and “being real” and, worst of all, “listening.”  Yuck.  Bring on the fur coats and Hummers!

Star Trek Scene It Now Available

OK, I want THIS much more than the mousetrap coffee table!

Seth Rogen Says He Was More of a \’Smoking Weed Behind the 7-11 Guy\’

>>A passenger was videotaping when Martz let an adult film actress perform a sex act on him during the May 20, 2005, flight, and an edited version eventually became public.<<

Helicopter pilot in sex act denied license

Lucky she didn’t press the wrong “eject” button…

Watch grass grow with the Timelapse Garden Video Camera

It doesn’t trump the mousetrap coffee table (and, frankly, I doubt anything ever will), but pictorially preserving the evolution of your garden (yours, not mine — I don’t have one) is kind of cool. I know I definitely need it — but not to take pictures of grass.  I need to take pictures of the mysterious “things” that go bump in the night and are driving me insane(r).