PERITOPIA!

>>REPORT — A fight between three boys happened at Alex Thomas Plaza Saturday afternoon resulting in the arrest of a 16-year-old boy on suspicion of battery. A different 16-year-old boy had minor cuts below his eye and on his lip and said he was approached by the other boy and challenged to a fight. A third 16-year-old boy also became involved but then left the park, police said. But according to police, the boy arrested said the injured boy was “mad doggin’” him (or looking at him) and challenged him to fight after he walked over.<<

What is this, West Side Story?   And, am I “mad doggin” people when I look at them?  So far, nobody has challenged me to a fight.  Smart.

>>REPORT — A woman came to UPD headquarters and said she had found a suitcase full of ammunition and then changed her mind, saying she wanted to dispose of the ammunition herself about 9:01 p.m. Thursday.<<

I think the folks in charge of recycling would have shown more interest than the UPD…

Today, I observed another instance of informed begging (see Mendocino Peeps) in the Safeway parking lot — a guy holding a sign that simply said, “Need Shave.”  I appreciate being informed of the intended use of a prospective donation.  If that is what the sign means.  On the other hand, maybe it’s just an observation.

Now, seems like the cops here have it pretty easy — seeing as everyone immediately confesses to everything — but I have to say, being a judge here might be even more fun.  Two recent court report entries:

>>Shane Vanbezooyen pleaded no contest to corporal injury to a cohabitant (a head butt).<<  Thanks for that detail!

>>Among Huynh was arraigned for alleged taking one abalone over the limit and VOP for previous taking of abalone. He was placed on a 12-month probation and fined $1,207. When Judge Nelson asked him why he had gone abalone diving during the middle of a probation for the same thing, Huynh replied, “I have bad memory.” Judge Nelson then fined him $500.<<  And stuff.  What?

>>A 22-year-old Ukiah man was arrested on suspicion of possessing several pills of the illegal drug Ecstasy in the 1800 block of North State Street about 8:30 p.m. Friday.  … Several Ecstasy pills in the form of the Peanuts cartoon character Snoopy were found when Sheriff’s deputies searched his vehicle, the Sheriff’s Office stated. Culver was stopped for a traffic violation and police searched his vehicle with consent, according to the Sheriff’s Office.<<

He probably thought the cops would think the pills were candy and not get “Snoopy!”

Great news!   For my birthday weekend, I was lucky enough to go to the Fairfax Festival — which was not only a bucket full of specialness but also allowed me to pick up another edition of the Ross Valley Reporter.   Here are my favorites from the newly-named “Cop Logs” (used to be Police Reports, see May 19, 2009 post).

“Noise: A resident on Sir Francis Drake Boulevard was banding loudly in his apartment at 5:02 a.m.”  So, what is “banding” exactly?  Ordinarily, I would think it is playing in a band — was he a one-man band?  How many instruments did he play?  Why do they insist on leaving out these critical details.

“Reckless Driving: A driver was tailgating on Red Hill Avenue at 8:38 a.m.”  Hard to believe someone actually called the police for this.  Hate to think what happens if you park too close to the curb.

“Disturbing the Peace: A male juvenile was lying on the ground swearing on Oak Knoll Avenue at 7:30 p.m.  Officers contact him and determined he was fine, just having a bad day.  He refused treatment for a small cut to his hand and left side.”  What constitutes a report-worthy incident in this place is really really beyond me.  I have a paper cut.  Will that do?   Probably.

“Suspicious Circumstances: There was a tent in the back yard of a residence on Sir Francis Drake Boulevard and a homeless person might be occupying it.  The tent was found unoccupied.”  Um, where were the residents of this residence?  Couldn’t they go check the tent in THEIR own backyard?

“Suspicious Circumstances: A former employee at a business on Sir Francis Drake Boulevard ordered over $80 worth of takeout food, then left without the food and without paying for it.”  Sounds like HE was having a bad day.

“Disturbing the Peace: A woman on a bus was being unruly at 2:52 p.m. and would not allow the driver to drive safely.”  See, now, I would have thought this fell under the Mass Transit Authority’s jurisdiction.

And, finally, one from my all-time favorite category: “noise.”

“Noise: Someone was banging on the walls at a residence on San Anselmo Avenue at 10:15 p.m.”  At least he wasn’t banding.

Diners in Paris dressed in all white

For some reason, a bunch of people got together at the Place de la Concorde dressed in all white to eat.  Those Parisians are zany.  But it provides another item for my “What If This Happened in Mendocino” segment.  That’s easy to answer because it could NEVER happen in Mendocino.  Maybe, just maybe, you could get everybody onto Main Street, dressed.  But even that is a 50-50 proposition.  Once again, might work better if you had a trail of brownies.

\’Elaborate\’ drug tunnel found along Mexico border

>>”It’s elegant in the sense it has electrical work wired into the Mexico side. It even has a hose for ventilation and lightning,” Scioli said.<<

Interesting.  I did not realize you need lightning in a drug tunnel.  Must be a form of security — like an uber-taser.

>>BOOKED — Brett Alan Lawson, 50, of Ukiah, was booked into jail by the Mendocino County Sheriff’s Office on suspicion of corporal injury to a spouse, making a terrorist threat, damaging a phone line and driving under the influence at 9:05 a.m. Monday.<<

So, he hits his wife, threatens the President, throws his phone when the cab company puts him on hold and then away he goes?  But the most impressive thing, in my opinion, is that it all happened before 9 a.m.

Yet another easy arrest — but not from a local.  Perhaps there is something in the air here that just causes people to confess to just about everything.  As an aside, my birthday is coming up, and I DON’T want abalone.

>>SENTENCED — Los Angeles-area abalone divers were sentenced recently for their illegal take of abalone on the Mendocino Coast in May 2008.  Ricky Sco, Kun Chung, Hak Kim and Weon Lim pleaded guilty in a May 28, 2009 hearing. Judge Ronald Brown sentenced the four to pay a $20,000 fine each, probation and 45 days in jail, and a lifetime ban on harvesting abalone in California, according to a report from the DA’s Office.  At a hearing earlier this year, California Department of Fish and Game warden Eric Bloom testified as a witness for the DA’s Office. An anonymous tip led to the discovery of 62 abalone inside coolers in the back of an SUV in Fort Bragg. In the front seat of the vehicle there was $3,257 in cash, according to the DA’s Office. The four defendants admitted that what they had done was illegal and said the abalone were planned for a party and to give as gifts to friends, the DA’s Office stated.<<