I can’t help it…
I know these police logs are getting routine, but they are so good I can’t help but write about them. Once again, Mill Valley shines as an example of how very far you have to go to find actual crime in Marin County.
>>Suspicious Vehicle: Robertson Terrace at 10 a.m. Caller was out of town and had video surveillance of his driveway and he saw an older sedan backing up to his garage. Could be the gardener but he drives a truck. Officer responded and contacted gardener.<< Wow, bet the Mill Valley police are just thrilled that people have video surveillance — gives them something to do! And, you have to ask, would the “Caller” have called if it had been a NEW sedan — or a sports car — or an SUV? I’m thinking, not so much. Too bad we don’t get to hear how this story ended. Was it the gardener — or maybe the POOL GUY?!
>>Advice to Citizen: Ashford Avenue and E. Blithedale Avenue at 1:20 p.m. Caller had a road-rage incident with a driver in a white van. She didn’t have license number or a description but she did have a handprint on her vehicle window where the other driver slammed the window. Advice given.<< Oh, come on! What was the advice? Take a deep breath. Eat a brownie. There’s an emergency yoga class up the street for this kind of thing. And, btw, I love the handprint — to be entered in the federal handprint database? Bet she thinks so. She must be a lot of fun when it’s time to pick up the kids.
>>Non-injury accident: Almonte Boulevard and Miller Avenue at 12:45 p.m. Caller reported a vehicle in a ditch with six people inside, they appeared to be student age. Officers and CHP responded to find all subject gone.<< And not a trace of any controlled substances to be found…
>>Stolen-Vehicle Report: La Geona Street and Miller Avenue at 11:30 p.m. Caller reported his vehicle last seen around noon. Vehicle was locked, and he had keys. Vehicle was not towed. No merit.<< This just confuses me. Did they FIND the vehicle? Or did they just assume he forgot where he parked it? Or, maybe, aliens abducted the vehicle and, as we all know, that is WAY outside of the Mill Valley police’s jurisdiction.
>>Noise Disturbance: 700 block of East Blithedale Avenue at 2:45 a.m. Caller reported street sweeping for over an hour. Caller was told to call when noise occurred. Officer responded and contacted sweeper driver and owner of company. Work stopped.<< So, implicit in this report is that the sweeping wasn’t going on at 2:45 a.m. — that’s just when the call occurred. I think someone was drinking and reporting again…
>>Vandalism Report: Hazel Avenue at 7:30 a.m. Caller found a white paint stripe in front of his house. Report on file.<< Now, we know Mill Valley residents define “vandalism” very broadly (and are hyper-sensitive to noise), but this one seems like an accident to me. Or, maybe this was the street sweeper’s revenge!
>>Suspicious Person: Blithedale Canyon at 11 a.m. Two females reported an older male in a sleeping bag off the side of the road in the bushes. Officers contacted subject, who resides in Novato. Novato Police Department said subject left this morning without taking meds and he needed to go back. Subject given ride back to halfway home. Subject didn’t meet crazy criteria, but came close.<< OMG. I hope there is an internal memo that spells out the “crazy criteria” in Mill Valley. And, if being from Novato and having the audacity to leave and sleep in a bag off the road in Mill Valley bushes isn’t crazy, I don’ t know what is!
>>Advice to Citizen: Surrey Avenue at 11 a.m. Caller stated ongoing noise problems with neighbors. Recent event concerned the slamming lid of a hot tub, noting that wife was home alone. Advice given.<< Why does it matter if the wife were home alone? Does that somehow make it intentional slamming? If I were the wife, I’d get out the leaf blower right away.
>>Assist Fire: Elm Avenue at 8 p.m. Caller said a very tall tree, at least 15 feet, was down and partially blocking roadway and partly on his property. Officer responded to find a small branch in roadway. Officer moved branch to side of the road.<< As if we needed any more proof that folks in Mill Valley have a different sense of proportion than most other people. Makes me want to visit, in an older sedan, with some crayons, a trumpet and a lawn chair. As long as I don’t meet the “crazy criteria” or leave any handprints, I should be okay.
Tags: Mill Valley