Adieu, Mill Valley
Alas, my time with the Mill Valley Reporter has probably come to an end. Thankfully, I’m leaving with a lot of material.
>>Advice to Citizen: Whole Foods Market at 5 p.m. Caller wanted advice regarding subjects protesting against President Obama with signs of him dressed like Hitler. Caller felt this might incite a riot. Advice given regarding First Amendment.<< Excellent, now we can add LEGAL advice to the kinds of advice the folks down at the MV police station are willing to dispense. As an aside, the notion of anyone rioting in MV is laughable. And, if they did, it would be because the protesters were blocking the salad station.
>>Vehicle Tampering Report: Blithedale Terrace at 9 a.m. Caller reported her license plates stolen from her vehicle, sometime in the past two weeks. Rear plate missing. Report on file.<< Gotta love that it took the caller two weeks to notice AND the MV police obviously didn’t. Because, of course, they were studying for the bar exam, naturally.
>>Advice to Citizen: Sycamore Avenue at 7:45 p.m. Caller reported he received a call on his cell phone stating, “I saw what you did to my dog and I am going to kill you in front of my family.” Caller didn’t know whom the call came from and wanted officer to listen to message to see if it was credible threat. Officer gave advice to caller.<< Um, hope that advice was, only if you did something to someone’s dog. BTW, a tad weird that the cell phone caller would want to kill the caller in front of his own and not the caller’s family. He must not like his family very much. OR maybe they are a family of murderer-avengers — in which case don’t step on their cat.
>>Suspicious Vehicle: Redwood Highway Frontage Road at 3:30 a.m. On routine patrol, officer saw vehicle with one subject. Contacted subject, who was fishing, caught one striped bass.<< So, apparently, it is suspicious to be in car alone in MV. That makes sense. I mean, I think you are required by law to have at least 3 kids in a car at any one time, from what I’ve seen so far. Appreciate that the report includes what the subject caught — because I was on the edge of my seat over that one.
>>Miscellaneous Code Violation: Cascade Dam at 4:15 p.m. Caller saw five male juveniles in swim trunks heading toward the dam but it was closed. Officer advised juveniles of dam closure.” Ah, another “let’s guess the code violation” entry. I’m going with five juveniles. Seems like MV might prohibit 3 or more juveniles congregating in a group — because they would probably make too much noise.
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