Now it’s just ridiculous
I don’t know what is going on — but, our police blotter is starting to read more like a Lost & Found. Is this the BEST we can do? They might as well start reporting the undersized abalone catches.
>>SHOPPING CART IN ROAD — Caller reports a shopping cart in the middle of the road in the 100 block of North Bush Street at 4:53 a.m. Monday.<< Would be funny if this is the address of a Safeway.
>>ORANGE CONE IN ROAD — Caller reports an orange cone in the middle of the street at the intersection of West Clay and McPeak streets at 1:51 p.m. Monday, with no work crews near it, that is causing a traffic hazard.<< Is anyone thinking what I am thinking? Obstacle course!
>>POT PLANTS IN NEIGHBOR’S YARD — Caller reports seeing 20 to 35 pot plants growing in neighbor’s back yard at 3:30 p.m. Monday. Officer contacted the 61-year-old resident, who said that the plants belong to her daughter and they would be removed that evening.<< Yes, officer, those illegal drugs belong to me, and I sincerely apologize for leaving them out in the open like that. Love the peeps who make it so easy.
>>ELEVEN-YEAR-OLD STEALING MONEY — Caller in the 1100 block of Mulberry Street at 4:15 p.m. Monday said he wanted to report his 11-year-old daughter is stealing his cash and credit cards.<< Kind of sad when you have to report your 11-year old to the police, instead of say, disciplining her. Off to a good start establishing that permanent record, though. And, who is letting an 11-year old buy stuff on credit? Hope she’s not getting a mortgage.
>>FANCY PURSE IN ROAD — Caller reports a “fancy purse” in the middle of the road in front of the Big Lots store on South Orchard Avenue at 5:28 p.m. Monday. Officer noted it was not a purse but a make-up bag, and had been run over several times.<< Ah, an homage to Mill Valley with extraneous details that couldn’t possibly be relevant — not that the purse was all that important to begin with. But why stop there? What color was the bag? Was there make-up inside it? Did the mascara get all over the road and make a mess? Wasn’t anyone cited for vandalism — cause that’s what the folks in the MVPD would have done.
>>STOLEN NECKLACE FOUND IN COIN SHOP — Caller reports at 8:26 p.m. Monday finding a necklace at a coin shop that was stolen from his son.<< Hm, this seems like reporting the resolution of a criminal investigation, not an actual crime. Although, it is a bit suspicious that the necklace was in a coin shop (unless it was a coin necklace); the coin shop was open at 8:26 p.m.; and the caller wanted to report that his son’s necklace had been found — something I’m sure the officers over at the UPD were breathing a sigh of relief over — and now they can return to their regular duties of clearing miscellaneous objects from the road.
Tags: Mendocino, Mill Valley